Sunday, 26 February 2017

Question: "What are the qualifications of elders and deacons

Question: "What are the qualifications of elders and deacons?"

Answer: The Bible has a clear set of
qualifications for a deacon and an elder and
their positions in the body of believers. The
office of deacon was developed to deal with a
practical issue in the church: “So the Twelve
gathered all the disciples together and said, ‘It
would not be right for us to neglect the ministry
of the word of God in order to wait on
tables’” ( Acts 6:2 ). The word translated “wait
on” is the Greek word diakonein , which comes
from a word meaning “attendant, waiter, or one
who ministers to another.” To “deacon” is to
serve. The first deacons were a group of seven
men in the Jerusalem church who were
appointed to work in the daily food distribution.
A deacon, therefore, is one who serves others in
an official capacity in the church.
The Greek word translated “ bishop” is episkopos
(the source of our English word episcopal). The
bishop is the superintendent, the overseer, or
the officer in general charge of the
congregation. In the Bible bishops are also
called “elders” ( 1 Timothy 5:19 ) and
“pastors” ( Ephesians 4:11 ).
The qualifications of the bishop/elder/pastor are
found in 1 Timothy 3:1–7 : “Here is a trustworthy
saying: Whoever aspires to be an overseer
desires a noble task. Now the overseer is to be
above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate,
self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to
teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but
gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.
He must manage his own family well and see
that his children obey him, and he must do so in
a manner worthy of full respect. (If anyone does
not know how to manage his own family, how
can he take care of God’s church?) He must not
be a recent convert, or he may become
conceited and fall under the same judgment as
the devil. He must also have a good reputation
with outsiders, so that he will not fall into
disgrace and into the devil’s trap.” Paul also
instructs Timothy on the things that exemplify
the teaching of a good minister. Beginning in 1
Timothy 4:11 and continuing through 6:2, Paul
gives Timothy twelve things that he should
“command and teach.”
The apostle Paul repeats the qualifications of a
bishop/elder/pastor in his letter to Titus. “An
elder must be blameless, faithful to his wife , a
man whose children believe and are not open to
the charge of being wild and disobedient. Since
an overseer manages God’s household, he must
be blameless—not overbearing, not quick-
tempered, not given to drunkenness, not violent,
not pursuing dishonest gain. Rather, he must be
hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is
self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined. He
must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as
it has been taught, so that he can encourage
others by sound doctrine and refute those who
oppose it” ( Titus 1:6–9 ).
The qualifications of a deacon are similar to
those of a bishop/elder/pastor. “In the same
way, deacons are to be worthy of respect,
sincere, not indulging in much wine, and not
pursuing dishonest gain. They must keep hold of
the deep truths of the faith with a clear
conscience. They must first be tested; and then
if there is nothing against them, let them serve
as deacons. In the same way, the women are to
be worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but
temperate and trustworthy in everything. A
deacon must be faithful to his wife and must
manage his children and his household well.
Those who have served well gain an excellent
standing and great assurance in their faith in
Christ Jesus” ( 1 Timothy 3:8–13 ). The word
translated “deacon” in this passage is a form of
the same Greek word used in Acts 6:2 , so we
know we are talking about the same office.
These qualifications are simple and
straightforward. Both the deacon and the
bishop/elder/pastor should be a male, the
husband of one wife, of sterling character, and
one who rules his own home in a biblical way.
These qualifications also presuppose that one
seeking such an office is a born-again believer
and walks in submission to God’s Word. The
only substantial difference between the two
sets of qualifications is that the bishop/elder/
pastor must be “able to teach,” whereas
teaching is not mentioned as necessary for
deacons.
The Lord Jesus Himself is called the “ Shepherd
and Overseer of your souls” ( 1 Peter 2:25 ). The
titles are interesting. The word Shepherd is a
translation of the Greek word poimen, translated
“pastor” elsewhere (e.g., Ephesians 4:11 ). This
poimen is someone who tends herds or flocks
and is used metaphorically of Christian pastors
because pastors should guide the “flock” of God
and feed them the Word of God. The word
translated “Overseer” is the same word,
episkopos, used by the apostle Paul in 1
Timothy and Titus.
Clearly, the offices of elder and deacon are
important in the church. Ministering to God’s
people in word and deed is a serious
responsibility for a man to take on, and it should
never be done lightly. A biblically unqualified
individual should not occupy either the office of
elder or deacon; the church deserves better.

Question: "What are the responsibilities of deacons in the church?

Question: "What are the responsibilities of
deacons in the church?"

Answer: In the New Testament, the word usually
translated "serve" is the Greek word diakoneo ,
which literally means "through the dirt." It
refers to an attendant, a waiter, or one who
ministers to another. From this word we get the
English word “deacon.” We first see the word
"deacon" used this way in the book of Acts.
“And the twelve summoned the full number of
the disciples and said, "It is not right that we
should give up preaching the word of God to
serve tables” ( Acts 6:2 ). The men who were
giving themselves to feeding the flock by
preaching and teaching realized that it wasn’t
right for them to leave those activities to wait
tables, so they found some other men who were
willing to serve, and put them in place to
minister to the church’s physical needs while
the elders or pastors ministered to their spiritual
needs. It was a better use of the resources they
were given, and a better use of everyone’s gifts.
It also got more people involved in serving and
helping one another.
Today, for the biblical church, these roles are
essentially the same. Elders and pastors are to
“preach the word…reprove, rebuke, and exhort,
with complete patience and teaching” ( 2
Timothy 4:2 ), and deacons are to be appointed
to take care of everything else. In a modern
church, this might include taking on
administrative or organizational tasks, ushering,
being responsible for building maintenance, or
volunteering to be the church treasurer. It
depends on the need and the gifts of the
available men.
The responsibilities of a deacon are not clearly
listed or outlined; they are assumed to be
everything that does not include the duties of
an elder or pastor, which is to preach, teach,
and exhort. But qualifications for a deacon’s
character are clearly outlined in Scripture. They
are to be blameless, the husband of one wife, a
good household manager, respectable, honest,
not addicted to alcohol and not greedy ( 1
Timothy 3:8-12 ). According to the Word, the
office of deacon is an honor and a blessing.
“For those who serve well as deacons gain a
good standing for themselves and also great
confidence in the faith that is in Christ
Jesus” ( 1 Timothy 3:13 ).

Saturday, 25 February 2017

GOD’S FREE OFFER

GOD’S FREE OFFER

Jesus came to make salvation as easy as He could. That’s one reason why the religious leaders of His day wanted to see Him crucified, because their religious system as good as said that nobody could be saved without following their complicated laws, traditions, and religious rigmarole. Jesus taught that all we need to do to be saved is believe that He is the Christ, the Savior, and that we are sinners in need of salvation, and then ask Him for salvation.

We can’t completely understand salvation, any more than we can understand the depth of God’s love, which is why Jesus said that receiving salvation requires childlike faith. “Unless you become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of Heaven.” It’s impossible to fully comprehend either one. All we can do is receive them.

Does a baby understand the love of its mother or father? No, he just feels it, accepts it, and receives it. Even before he understands language, before he learns to talk, he understands love, he feels love, and he trusts his parents because he knows they love him. Likewise, you don’t have to understand everything about God to experience His love and salvation; all you have to do is receive Jesus, God’s Son, as your Savior by asking Him into your heart.

You can do that right now if you want God’s answer to all of your problems and His love and happiness to fill your heart and life with joy and with a new plan and purpose in living. He’ll meet all your needs and solve all your problems. He’s just that wonderful, and it’s all just that simple!

Jesus said, “I am the door” into the Father’s house, the kingdom of God. “If anyone enters by Me, he will be saved.” If you want to get into Heaven, all you have to do is believe that the door is there and walk through it.

Saved and forgiven

Why is forgiveness an integral part of salvation? Because sin separates us from God, and no one is perfect; we are all sinners. The Bible says, “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” and, “The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Jesus Christ our Lord.”

So-called good people pride themselves on being better than others. “I don’t do this, and I don’t do that!” But it’s impossible to get into Heaven by being good, because no one can be good enough. We all need to recognize and honestly admit, “I’m a sinner like everyone else. I make mistakes. I need a Savior.”

That’s why Jesus died for us, because we’re all sinners and it’s impossible for us to earn or be worthy of salvation. But Jesus was perfect, and that’s why He could pay the price of our sins so God could forgive us. We all need God’s love and mercy to be saved, and we find that love and mercy in Jesus Christ.

Salvation is like receiving a pardon. God has offered pardon to the guilty, and it doesn’t matter how bad you are or what you’ve done. If you believe that Jesus died for your salvation, you will be saved and forgiven. “The blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin,” no matter what you’ve done! “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall be as wool.”

You can’t be too bad, but you also can’t be good enough. You cannot save yourself, no matter how good you try to be, because you can never be good enough; you can never earn or deserve salvation. “By grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.”
Many people are too proud to accept a gift. They want to work for everything they receive. But no amount of good works or anything else can save them. Only Jesus saves! “For there is one God and one Mediator between God and men, the Man Christ Jesus.” “Nor is there salvation in any other, for there is no other name under Heaven given among men by which we must be saved.”

Once saved, forever saved

Once you have received Jesus, He will never let go of you. “The one who comes to Me I will by no means cast out.” If you have Jesus, then you have eternal life. You may lose your physical life, but never your eternal life!

Salvation is forever. God doesn’t change His mind or go back on His word. Once you’ve received Jesus Christ, you’re going to live forever. “He who believes on the Son has everlasting life.” Right now! No ifs, ands, or buts about it!

Jesus said, “I am with you alway[s], even unto the end of the world.” “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” “I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand.”

You can have peace of mind knowing that you don’t have to worry about whether you’re going to make it to Heaven. Jesus paid for your salvation once and forever, and it’s His gift to you. Grace plus faith plus nothing—that’s salvation! You don’t have to be good to get saved, and you don’t have to be good to stay saved.

But this doesn’t mean that you can then live as you please. Once you’re saved, you’ll always be saved, but if you wilfully commit sins and don’t repent, you will suffer for them in some way. “The Lord disciplines those He loves.” And once in Heaven, you’ll be rewarded (or not) according to how you lived on earth. Salvation is a gift, but you can keep yourself in line for God’s other blessings, both in this life and the next, by doing your best to live as He would have you live. And if you appreciate that gift as you should, you’ll love and want to please Him in return.

A new you

Jesus likened salvation to being born again. It’s that big of a change spiritually. “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” Don’t be surprised if you actually feel different and think differently and are happier than you have ever been before!

Jesus’ coming into your life not only renews and purifies and regenerates your spirit, but it also renews your mind, breaking old connections and gradually rewiring you with a new outlook on life and new reactions to nearly everything around you. It’s impossible for you to make such a total change yourself, but it’s possible for God—and it’s possible for you to ask Him for it.

When Jesus comes into your heart, expect things to be different. It may not happen all at once, but as you continue to hunger for truth and take in more of God’s Word, it will happen. You’ll find a change in your spirit, your thoughts, and in your direction. You’ll be happy and overflowing with love, because “God is love!”

Romans 6:23 (ESV) For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Galatians 2:16 (ESV) yet we know that a person is not justified by works of the law but through faith in Jesus Christ, so we also have believed in Christ Jesus, in order to be justified by faith in Christ and not by works of the law, because by works of the law no one will be justified.

1 John 1:7 (ESV) But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.



Onyedikachi Kingsley Ogbonna (Surv.)

What does the husband of one wife phrase in 1 Timothy 3:2 mean?

Question: "What does the husband of one wife
phrase in 1 Timothy 3:2 mean? Can a divorced
man serve as a pastor, elder, or deacon?"
Answer: There are at least three possible
interpretations of the phrase husband of one
wife in 1 Timothy 3:2 (ESV) . 1) It could simply
be saying that a polygamist is not qualified to
be an elder, a deacon or a pastor. This is the
most literal interpretation of the English
rendering of the phrase, but seems somewhat
unlikely considering that polygamy was quite
rare in the time that Paul was writing. 2) The
Greek could literally be translated as “one-
woman man.” In other words, a bishop must be
absolutely loyal to the woman he is married to.
This interpretation acknowledges that the
original text focuses not on marital status but
on moral purity. 3) The phrase could also be
understood to declare that, in order to be an
elder/deacon/pastor, a man can only have been
married once, other than in the case of a
remarried widower; in other words, a pastor
cannot be a divorcé.
Interpretations 2 and 3 are the most prevalent
today. Interpretation 2 seems to be the
strongest, primarily because Scripture allows for
divorce in exceptional circumstances ( Matthew
19:9 ; 1 Corinthians 7:12–16 ). It is also
important to differentiate a man who was
divorced and remarried before he became a
Christian from a man who was divorced and
remarried after becoming a Christian. An
otherwise qualified man should not be excluded
from church leadership because of his actions
prior to coming to know the Lord Jesus Christ
as his Savior. Although 1 Timothy 3:2 does not
necessarily exclude a divorced or remarried man
from serving as an elder/deacon/pastor, there
are other issues to consider.
The first qualification of an elder/deacon/pastor
is to be “above reproach” ( 1 Timothy 3:2 ). If the
divorce and/or remarriage had no biblical
grounds, then the man has damaged his
testimony in the church and community; the
“above reproach” qualification will exclude him
from the pastorate rather than the “husband of
one wife” requirement. An elder/deacon/pastor
is to be a man whom the church and community
can look up to as an example of Christlikeness
and godly leadership. If a past divorce and/or
remarriage detracts from this ideal, then he
should not serve in the position of elder/
deacon/pastor. It is important to remember
that, even though a man is disqualified from
serving as an elder/deacon/pastor, he is still a
valuable member of the body of Christ. Every
Christian possesses spiritual gifts ( 1 Corinthians
12:4–7 ) and is called to participate in edifying
other believers with those gifts ( 1 Corinthians
12:7 ). A man who is disqualified from the
position of elder/deacon/pastor can still teach,
preach, serve, pray, worship, and play an
important role in the church.

What is the origin of Christianity

Question: "What is the origin of Christianity?"

Answer: "And he is the head of the body, the
church; he is the beginning and the firstborn
from among the dead . . . the mystery that has
been kept hidden for ages and generations, but
is now disclosed to the saints . . . Christ in you,
the hope of glory" ( Colossians 1:18 , 26-28 ).
Discussing the origin of Christianity requires the
review of an intricate story spanning time and
eternity. Instead of a simple beginning, we
consider Christianity's origin from several points
of view. Acts 2 records the birth of the church
at Pentecost. This was indeed a Feast of
Harvest ( Exodus 23:16 ), because a harvest of
about 3,000 souls took place on that day when
the Holy Spirit came upon the apostles and
disciples ( Acts 2:1-41 ). Biblically, Christianity is
not a building or religion but the church, or
household of God. It is embodied in Christ and
His people, individually and collectively. Before
time began, the church was conceived in the
mind of God. Then, “when the time had fully
come" ( Galatians 4:4 ), God sent His only son,
"born of a woman, born under law" to be the
church's true founder, foundation, and head ( 1
Corinthians 3:11 ). As the first of the chosen
ones ( 1 Peter 2:6 ), Jesus, the anointed one
(that is, the Christ) died as the perfect
Passover lamb fifty days before the events of
Acts 2. Before that, He prepared the apostles
for three years, giving them the Father's Word
and keeping them in His name ( John 17:12 , 14).
After His resurrection He breathed into the
apostles the breath of eternal life in the form of
the Holy Spirit, who was to indwell them ( John
20:22 ; cf. John 14:25-26 ). They became the
seeds of the new church, which sprouted into
thousands when the Holy Spirit came upon
them, empowering them to witness, preach, and
carry out the mission Jesus gave them. Rising
from the dead, Jesus was the first fruits of
God's Kingdom; ''then, when he comes, those
who belong to him will also rise, never to die
again ( John 11:25-26 ). Thus, Jesus is the one
foundation and source of the church.
The Old Testament had prophesied that a
“shoot” would come from the “stump” of Jesse
(King David's father) and that this “branch”
would bear fruit ( Isaiah 11:1 , 10). Jesus is that
Messiah or Christ. He is the hope of Jews and
Gentiles. "The Root of Jesse will spring up, one
who will arise to rule over the nations; the
Gentiles will hope in him" ( Romans 15:12 ; cf.
Revelation 5:5 ; 22: 16). Peter learned that
Jesus is not merely a human being, the Son of
David, when God showed him that Jesus is "the
Son of the living God." To this, Jesus added
that He Himself is the Rock or foundation upon
which He would build His church ( Matthew
16:16-18 ; see also Isaiah 26:4 ). The building of
the church upon Jesus, the Rock of Israel
( Isaiah 30:29 ), is taught in 2 Corinthians 6:16
(see also Ephesians 2:21-22 ).
Some writers mention that the word for “church”
in the original Greek is ecclesia, meaning “a
called-out assembly” ( εκκλησιαν – Matthew
16:18 ) and that the church is formed by the
“elect” or chosen ( Mark 13:20 ; Luke 18:7 ;
Romans 8:33 ). Yes, the elect have been called
out from the kingdom of darkness, but we have
also been called into God’s family as adopted
children. “The Spirit himself testifies with our
spirit that we are God’s children” ( Romans 8:16 ;
cf. Ephesians 5:1 , 8). We are chosen, but Jesus
is the first of the chosen ( 1 Peter 2:6 ), and He
lives in us as we live or abide in Him ( John
8:31 ; 15:4-9 ).
Christians are individually in Christ even as the
church as a whole is in Christ ( Romans 12:5 ; 1
Corinthians 1:2 , 30). The mystery of Christ and
the church is brought out in Paul’s discussion of
the mystery by which two become “one flesh” in
marriage, in Ephesians 5. There the apostle
writes that “this mystery is profound,” referring
to Christ and the Church ( Ephesians 5:32 ). The
tense of the Greek word translated
“mystery” ( μυστηριον ) is singular. This
grammatical detail shows that in their unity
Christ and the church are one mystery. They
are not a mixture or compound; rather, their
union is like that of a man and woman in holy
matrimony who become “one flesh” or a new
family unit without giving up their individuality
( Genesis 2:24 ). In marriage a couple becomes
legal “kin,” even though they are not blood
relatives as Adam and Eve were. Similarly,
through Christ God legally adopts the chosen as
children ( Ephesians 1:5 ). Because of this, and
because Christ lives in each member of the
church, His spiritual body, He is our hope of
glory ( Colossians 1:18 , 26-28 ). Christ’s presence
in Christians answers Jesus’ prayer in John 17:
“My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for
those who will believe in me through their
message, that all of them may be one, Father,
just as you are in me and I am in you” ( John
17:20-21 ; see also John 17:11 ).
The connection between the words “church”
and “Christianity” is old and complicated, but we
can simply say that Christians do not go to
church; rather, they are the church. Most
disciples who first joined the growing church
were Jews. Like Paul ( Philippians 3:5 ; Romans
11:1 ), they considered themselves Israelites,
descendants of Abraham, to whom belonged the
covenants, the giving of the law, etc. ( Romans
9:4-5 ). They acknowledged the Lord Jesus as
Messiah and God but did not (at first) call
themselves “Christians.” At Antioch in the first
century, outsiders first called the followers of
the Christ “Christians” ( Acts 11:26 ). They
thought “Christ” was the proper name of the
God whom they worshipped, not aware that
“Christ” means “anointed” and that Jesus is the
Christ. As for “church,” some early Christian
writers used this word to refer to the place
where people worshipped (i.e., the church
building). But in the New Testament, the word
translated “church” refers to the “household of
God.” In Ephesians 2:19 , the Greek word
translated “household” is οἰκεῖοι. This plural
form refers to the all those who belong to the
immediate family of God, i.e., those who are
spiritually family in the faith ( Galatians 6:10 ;
Ephesians 2:19 ). As members of this universal
household, Christians have taken root and
blossomed among the various peoples and in
almost every language group in the world.
Now, let’s look beyond history to reflect on the
eternal origins of the church (i.e., “Christianity”)
in the mind of God. Even as God chose Israel
( Deuteronomy 7:6 ; 26:18 ), He also elected the
church in Christ “before the foundation of the
world” ( Ephesians 1:4 ). In eternity past, God
willed that the elect would be saved and made
part of His household by adoption. “He
predestined us for adoption as sons through
Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his
will” ( Ephesians 1:5 ). However, the church born
on Pentecost has not yet realized its ultimate
purpose in its development. The church is not
yet the spotless bride of Christ ( Revelation
19:6-8 ), in accord with God’s purpose for it, as
we read in Ephesians 1:4 : “For he chose us in
him before the creation of the world to be holy
and blameless in his sight.” The fulfillment of
this prophetic purpose which God set forth in
Christ ( Romans 8:28 ; 9:11 ) “to be put into
effect when the times will have reached their
fulfillment” ( Ephesians 1:10 ) does not depend
on “… anything we have done but because of his
own purpose and grace. This grace was given
us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of
time” ( 2 Timothy 1:9 ).
One reason the “visible” church is not perfect is
because within its ranks there are false
Christians. Jesus told the apostles that within
the church there would be a mixture of “wheat
and chaff,” genuine saints and secret,
unrepentant, self-deceived sinners (hypocrites).
Considering that Christ has not yet returned in
power and glory ( Matthew 26:64 ; Mark 13:26 ),
and that the elect have not yet been revealed
as God’s children ( Romans 8:19 ; 1 John 3:2 ),
the mystery of Christ and the church, kept
secret for long ages ( Romans 16:25 ), remains
partially concealed. The unveiling of the church
will not take place until the moment we are
changed, as 1 Corinthians 15:51-53 says. The
real hope for Christians is not that we will be
immortal (the damned in hell will also be
immortal, but they will be without Christ), but
that Christ lives in us now ( Colossians 1:28 ).
This brings us to a final thought about the
church’s present hidden-ness and ultimate
unveiling. We have been redeemed, we are no
longer slaves to sin, and death no longer has
dominion over us ( Romans 6:5-9 ). Nevertheless,
our “body of sin” or “body of death” ( Romans
6:6 ; 7:24 ) has yet to be “brought to nothing.”
We still await the resurrection and redemption
of our sin-stained flesh. This will take place
when the Lord returns for us. Then “we shall be
like him; for we shall see him even as he is” ( 1
John 3:2 ). Then, our glorious, imperishable
spiritual bodies will be revealed ( Philippians
3:20-21 ), and we will no longer be burdened by
what remains of the carnal or sinful mind. Thus,
in a real sense, the church or Christianity in its
perfection, as the undefiled and glorified bride
of Christ, continues to wear a discrete veil, until
she is called to heaven in glory at the marriage
supper of the Lamb. This event is prophesied in
Revelation 19:6-8 , where we read, “Then I heard
what sounded like a great multitude, like the
roar of rushing waters and like loud peals of
thunder, shouting: ‘Hallelujah! For our Lord God
Almighty reigns. Let us rejoice and be glad and
give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb
has come, and his bride has made herself
ready. Fine linen, bright and clean, was given
her to wear.’ (Fine linen stands for the
righteous acts of the saints.)”

How to get your boyfriend to propose to You

In love and want to live happily ever,
but he hasn’t popped the question.
Here are some great tips for how to
get your boyfriend to propose.
Many ladies fantasize about their big day from a very young
age. The beautiful white dress, walking down the aisle,
seeing the man of your dreams waiting for you at the end
– it’s all very romantic! But how do you actually make it
happen and get your boyfriend to propose?
This can be more tricky. If you feel the time is right for you
to take your relationship one step further and get engaged,
that’s wonderful. But often, your partner might be a little
less keen. Proposing is a big step and a huge commitment,
so he’ll no doubt want to make sure that the time is right.
He might just need that little nudge of encouragement to
push him over the edge!
How to get your boyfriend to propose
So, if you want to know how to get
your boyfriend to propose, what should you do? Here are 10
great tips to help him get the message and take the
plunge!

#1 Be cool! There is nothing that is going to make a guy
put off proposing more than if he feels he is being backed
into a corner. This might very well make him run the other
way.
You might be desperate to get married, but you have to
understand that this is a huge and life-changing decision
for him. If he feels totally pressured into it, it’s going to be
hard for him to take the plunge.
#2 Tell
him. While keeping your cool is important, you still need to
make sure that he knows that you want to actually get
married in the first place. If you overdo the cool and casual
approach, he will have no idea that you even want to get
married in the first place, and, therefore, might just not
have the motivation needed to actually pop the question.
If you have been going out for a while, you will probably
already have had a conversation about the future. But if
you haven’t, or haven’t mentioned marriage specifically, let
him know in a mature and sensible way exactly what your
thoughts are on the matter. Then at least he will know
where your head is at.
#3 Don’t compare yourself to others. Just because all your
friends got married two years ago, and you still haven’t,
doesn’t mean that it’s your “turn.” Every relationship is
different, and some people take a little longer to want to settle down that others.
If you keep pointing out to him how everyone else around you is married, he will just feel as
though you are whining at him, which will make him want
to do it even less! This is a really important tip for how to
get your boyfriend to propose.
#4 Don’t give him a choice! Okay, so this might sound a
little sneaky, but by offering him options, you are giving him
a “get out clause” where he can choose not to get married
just yet, if he feels like the time isn’t right.
Don’t make it too open-ended either. Saying something like,
“Do you think we’ll get married in the next 2 years?” is
better because it gives him a timeframe to think about.
#5 Make him feel like he couldn’t live without you. If you
want to know how to get your boyfriend to propose, he is
only going to do it if he really believes that you are “the
one.” Getting him to see that takes time! You need him to
feel like if he ever lost you, he would be completely
heartbroken.
Make sure that he
understands and appreciates everything that you do for him
– but do this subtly. If you can make him realize that he is
so lucky to have you, it will only heighten his desire to get
your relationship locked down sooner rather than later!
#6 Share everything with him. The closer he feels to you,
the more likely he is to want to marry you. If he feels as
though you are the person who he can trust the most in
the world, and someone that he can completely be himself
with – who sees him for just what he is – then he will
surely want to spend the rest of his life with you.
#7 Hang out with married couples. Seeing your friends happily married and still having
fun will show him that marriage is nothing to be frightened
of, and it’ll make him more ready to make that commitment
to you too.
He might be worried that getting engaged and married will
eventually change your relationship, and that might be
scary for him.
Seeing how your married friends are exactly the same will
help put his mind at ease, and it’s another great tip for
how to get your boyfriend to propose. If your married
friends are willing to give you a helping hand by talking
about how wonderful married life is, that probably won’t go
down too badly either! [Read: 20 reasons to get married
and live happily ever after]

#8 Build it up slowly. Don’t go from zero to one hundred –
take things slowly and build up to the point where marriage
is the next obvious step to take. Move in together and see
how that goes first. Then, *providing you are both animal
lovers of course* why not get a pet and see how you get
on with that?
Moving your relationship forward in steps like this will make
it a much easier transition when the time comes for him to
get his head around the idea of proposing to you.
So, if you are still in the dating stage, you might have your
work cut out for you. But don’t worry, you will get there
eventually… we promise!

#9 Be more independent. Having your own life outside of
your relationship is healthy, regardless of whether you are
thinking about getting married or not! However, showing
him that you are an independent woman, and giving him
the freedom to have his own life and enjoy things without
you, will show him that you trust him and are willing to set
him free.
Doing that will only strengthen your relationship and make
him feel more ready to take that plunge and make that
lifelong commitment to you.

#10 Accept his decision. At the end of the day, you can’t
force someone to marry you! If he isn’t ready to commit,
you have to deal with his decision – and there isn’t a whole
lot you can do about it. Don’t have a tantrum, and don’t get
too upset.
It might be that he just needs a little bit more time to get
his head around the whole idea. In the meantime, if the
relationship is worth waiting for, then you’ll know. And if it
is not, then maybe it is time to say goodbye and find
someone who does want to offer you that kind of commitment!
Getting married is a big decision, but an exciting one too. With these tips for how
to get your boyfriend to propose, you are so much more likely to convince him that now is the right time to get down on one knee.

RENEWAL OF SPIRIT

RENEWAL OF SPIRIT

“If anyone is in Christ,” the Bible tells us, “he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” That transformation begins the moment we invite Jesus into our hearts and lives, but it takes considerably longer for us to get into Jesus—to get completely immersed in Him and grounded in faith. The more we do that, the more of our old thoughts and habits pass away, and the more “all things become new.”

What better time than Easter, the celebration of the ultimate rebirth, to get renewed in spirit?

Ask God to show you one or two ways in which you need to change or grow as a person. For example, do you generally have a thankful, positive attitude, or do you tend to grumble about life’s difficulties? Do you set aside time to read God’s Word and think about how it applies to you, or do you fill your spare moments with TV or other entertainment? Do you pray for others who are experiencing hardships, or merely think about them sympathetically? Do you cheerfully give of yourself, or resent the sacrifices you sometimes need to make for the sake of others? Or is there some other area in which you need to change?

Now take a few minutes to commit these issues to Jesus in prayer. “Create in me a clean heart, and renew a right spirit within me.”

It takes time and consistent effort to break old habits, but once you acknowledge the need to change and ask Jesus to help, this promise is yours: “He who has begun a good work in you will complete it.” As you do your part, He will do His.

Colossians 2:6-7 (ESV) Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving.

Psalm 51:10 (ESV) Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.

Philippians 1:6 (ESV) And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.


Onyedikachi Kingsley Ogbonna ( Surv.)

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