SUCCESS IN MARRIAGE

SUCCESS IN MARRIAGE

Lasting, genuine love is based on a more enduring foundation than mere fleshly gratification. It must be an unselfish desire to protect and to help and to make someone else happy.

As my mother used to tell me, don’t marry the girl you can live with—marry the girl you can’t live without!

Marriage should be as equal as possible, as sharing as possible. You should talk together, pray together, love together, discuss together, and then decide and agree together.

One very important thing that is often overlooked in a marriage is for both partners to have faith in God and Jesus Christ. When you have faith, everything is possible, and you can do all things through Christ.

In marriage you die to self, but you find new life.

Don’t forget to thank her; don’t forget to thank him. Gratitude is a great thing in married life. Show appreciation!

Two of the greatest assets to a good marriage are honesty and a sense of humor.

“Whatsoever things are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things!” That applies to your spouse as well. Try to remind yourself constantly of his or her good qualities—the good things—and try not to think about the bad things.

Say “I love you” a hundred times a day!

Marriage is more than sex or friendship or a business partnership. It is the most intimate, humbling, loving, and self-sacrificial relationship between human beings in all of life. “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.” This is love, real love, true love—the willingness of a husband to sacrifice himself for his wife, the eagerness of a wife to lay down her life for her husband. This is supernatural love, divine love, God’s love, more than human.

Marriage is so difficult in today’s society. There are countless temptations—not just to cheat on your spouse, but to be selfish, to assert your independence, to insist on your so-called rights over another individual. All of these stem from people’s desires to promote themselves, and they run counter to God’s idea that self-sacrifice is the way to happiness.

Thinking of your spouse first is the secret to married happiness. You give up old habits, old preferences, and old ways in favor of the new, in favor of this wonderful person God has put in your life. In doing so out of love, you find great happiness because God blesses unselfishness; He blesses your sacrificially yielding to another person’s needs and wishes and seeking their well-being, even above your own.

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Matthew 17:20 (ESV) He said to them, “Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.”

Philippians 4:13 (ESV) I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Philippians 4:8 (ESV) Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Onyedikachi Kingsley Ogbonna (Surv.)

BIBLE HEROINES

BIBLE HEROINES

In the Israel of Bible times, men’s and women’s roles were clearly defined, with the women’s sphere traditionally being the household and everything pertaining to it, including the care of the children, the oversight of the servants, and often the managing of the family’s finances. But throughout the Bible, God didn’t limit Himself by gender when choosing who to use to accomplish His will, speak His words, or lead His people. In some cases, the tasks God gave women would have appeared daunting even to most men, but that didn’t prevent these bold and full-of-faith women from answering His call.

Meet a few of the remarkable women in the Bible Heroines’ Hall of Fame:

Sarah, Abraham’s wife, has the honor of being the only woman in the Bible whose age (127) was recorded at death, which is an indication of the respect shown her as mother of the Hebrew people. When Abraham and Sarah were both old, God promised them a son, and she gave birth to her first and only child, Isaac, when she was 90. The apostle Peter cited Sarah as an example of the holy women who trusted in God and possessed inward spiritual beauty. (Genesis chapters 11–23; Isaiah 51:2; 1 Peter 3:4–6) Puah and Shiphrah, two Hebrew midwives during the time when the Israelites were slaves in Egypt, disobeyed the Pharaoh’s orders to kill all newborn male Israelites. (Exodus 1:15–22) Jochebed waited until her baby boy, Moses, was three months old before “obeying” the Pharaoh’s commandment to cast him into the Nile; when she did, it was in a floating baby bed. Because of her faith and ingenuity, Moses was found and adopted by the Pharaoh’s daughter, was raised and educated in the Pharaoh’s household, and later led his true people out of bondage to the Promised Land. (Exodus 1:22–2:10) Deborah was a prophetess and judge. She rallied and organized the army that freed Israel from the occupying forces of Jabin, a Canaanite king. (Judges chapter 4) Jael, another woman, ended that war by slaying Sisera, Jabin’s general. (Judges chapter 4) Ruth left her homeland of Moab and all she knew when she chose to follow God, and He blessed her greatly. She settled in Bethlehem and became an ancestor of both King David and Jesus. (Book of Ruth; Matthew 1:5) Hannah was a childless woman who promised God that if He gave her a son, she would dedicate him to the Lord’s service. God answered her prayer, and she became the mother of the prophet Samuel. (1 Samuel 1) Abigail saved the lives of her servants and family, as well as her own, after her surly husband offended the future King David. Abigail rode out to meet David with a message from God, and David was dissuaded from exacting revenge. David also recognized Abigail’s wisdom and good character, and after her husband’s death he married her himself. (1 Samuel chapter 25) The widow of Zarephath believed and obeyed the prophet Elijah, and saved three lives in the process—his, her son’s, and her own. Through nearly three years of famine, her previously nearly empty supplies of flour and oil never ran out. (1 Kings 17:1–16) Huldah, a prophetess and contemporary of the prophet Jeremiah, was consulted by King Josiah as to the authenticity of some scrolls that were found in the rundown Temple. Through her testimony, the kingdom of Judah was brought back to faith in God. (2 Kings 22:13–20)

Esther was a young Jewish girl named Hadassah when she caught the eye of the heathen Persian king, Xerxes, also known as Ahasuerus. After becoming his queen, in a chilling episode of court intrigue, Esther risked her life to save her people when the king’s corrupt minister, Haman, ordered all the Jews in the kingdom to be put to death. (Book of Esther) Mary, the mother of Jesus, conceived by the Holy Spirit when she was a virgin and faced the prospect of being stoned to death until an angel persuaded her fiancé, Joseph, to marry her. For her role as mother of the Savior of the world, she was called “blessed among women.” (Luke 1:26–55; Matthew 1:18 25) Mary and Martha were close friends of Jesus and often put Him and His disciples up in their home. Mary was commended by Jesus for listening intently to His teachings (Luke 10:38–42), and Martha was one of the first to identify Jesus as the Messiah and Son of God. (John 11:20–27) The woman at the well was both a Samaritan—a people hated by the Jews—and of ill repute even among her own. But after Jesus revealed Himself to her, she immediately led many of her townspeople to know Jesus. (John 4:3–30) Mary Magdalene was a close disciple of Jesus, stood near Him during the crucifixion to try to comfort Him, and was the first person to whom He appeared after His resurrection. (Mark chapter 16; John chapter 20)

Lydia, a seller of cloth in the Greek port of Philippi, was the first recorded person on the Euro­pean mainland to embrace Christianity. She also hosted the disciples in her house. (Acts 16:14–15) Lois and Eunice were the grandmother and mother of Timothy, an early Christian leader, whom they trained from the time he was young in the knowledge of the Scriptures. They were renowned for their faith. (2 Timothy 1:5)

These women and countless others since rose to the callings God had for them, defied the odds, and manifested faith, courage, and love that continue to inspire us today.

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2 Timothy 1:5 (ESV) I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well.

Isaiah 51:2 (ESV) Look to Abraham your father and to Sarah who bore you; for he was but one when I called him, that I might bless him and multiply him.

1 Peter 3:4-6 (ESV) but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

Onyedikachi Kingsley Ogbonna (Surv.)

GENDER EQUALITY

GENDER EQUALITY

When talking about equal opportunity or equal rights for men and women, the real question that is often on our minds, whether we readily admit it or not, is, “Who is in charge?” Competition, pride, jealousy, and discontent haunt many people’s lives today. What a relief it would be if in every workplace and in our personal lives we could simply recognize one another’s talents, skills, and strengths, and without regard for gender do the best we can to make sure each person is in the position where he or she will be happy and challenged and able to accomplish the most for “the team.” But, you’re probably thinking, that’s more easily said than done. You’re right!

People everywhere yearn to be liberated. The quest for freedom is not unique to women. Men, too, long for liberation. But where can one find it?—The secret to freedom is not in men dominating women or in women dominating men, but in everyone working together in harmony, united, blended together in God’s love, all fulfilling their roles, all esteeming the other person better than themselves, all serving one another in humility.

This might seem unrealistic, a utopian dream that could never happen on this earth. Given the common faults in human nature, how in the world can we get around such things as contention, jealousies, divisiveness, backstabbing, dog-eat-dog competition, etc.?

In today’s world, many have seen the resources and talents of women being either underdeveloped or exploited. Some have sought to remedy this problem by force, by legislation, and even by domination. In so doing, they have perverted the grace and beauty that God has bestowed upon women. God has a way that is superior to this.

To begin with, it might surprise you to know that God doesn’t extol the strength of an individual, whether male or female. The strength of the individual is very limited. The greater strength, the greater love, and the greater other gifts come from above, from God. Therefore those who are most liberated, whether they be male or female, are those who look to God for their strength.

If you have received Jesus Christ, His Spirit dwells in you. As you give Him more of yourself, your own thoughts and your own will, you grow spiritually. Then the abilities that God has given you are multiplied many times over, so that you are not as you once were. You become a new person in Him, not with the strength of the flesh, but with the power of the Holy Spirit. Even if you have no strength of your own, He can empower you. It’s not that you become powerful in yourself; He is the One working in you and through you. This is true of both men and women.

God’s Spirit can work through both women and men. It allows women to exercise their gifts and talents, and men to recognize and appreciate those gifts and talents, without feeling threatened.

The key to true liberation is not seeking domination or power or having one gender rule over the other, but it is each one lifting up the other, the man helping the woman, and the woman helping the man, and each one giving what he or she is able to give. The solution is unselfishness and sacrifice on both sides, mutual acceptance of the gifts and talents of the other, and mutual recognition of God’s Spirit in each person.

The more we yield to God’s Spirit, the more areas we discover where there need not be a differentiation between the sexes. Jesus is in all who have received Him, and He empowers and works through them all, regardless of gender. As we grow closer to Him, we see more and more of His Spirit in each other. We stop thinking in terms of, “This is the opinion of a woman,” or “This is the opinion of a man,” because we will see God’s Spirit at work through that person.

Love, respect, trust, mutual admiration, and appreciation for one another come from God. Only He can give us enough of those things to start us down the path to true liberating equality.

God’s Amazing Design

The human genome is made up of forty-six chromosomes, the rod-like structures that reside in the nucleus of every cell. These chromosomes carry all of our genes, which, in turn, are made of DNA. Two of these chromosomes, called the “X” and the “Y,” are different from the rest: they are “sex chromosomes.“ Men carry one X and one Y chromosome, while women carry two X chromosomes. All the obvious physical differences between the sexes ultimately spring from this humble difference in chromosomal constitution.—H. Allen Orr, Professor of Biology at the University of Rochester

International Women’s Day

International Women’s Day (IWD), marked each year on March 8, is a global celebration of womanhood. It is also a time to reflect on progress made in advancing women’s rights, to call for further change, and to remember the ordinary women who through their acts of courage and determination have played extraordinary roles in the history of women’s rights and women’s causes.

The idea of an International Women’s Day originated around the turn of the 20th century, amid rapid world industrialization and economic expansion that led to protests over working conditions. In many countries today, the political and human rights theme remains central to IWD, while in others the day has become mostly an occasion for men and children to express love and appreciation to the women around them—a sort of Mother’s Day and Saint Valentine’s Day rolled into one.

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Philippians 2:3 (ESV) Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.

Galatians 5:13 (ESV) For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one
another.

James 1:17 (ESV) Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

Onyedikachi Kingsley Ogbonna (Surv.)

GOD’S ETERNAL LOVE

GOD’S ETERNAL LOVE

(A FRIEND STORY)

As soon as I got connected to the Internet, dozens of messages that had piled up in cyberspace while I’d been traveling from the Middle East to Europe flooded my inbox. I wearily started separating junk mail from the real thing, and in the process was surprised to find a note from someone I hadn’t heard from in a long while. It read, in part:

Twenty days ago medical tests revealed that I have cancer. Thank God, it hasn’t spread yet. I will be admitted for surgery very soon. I wish you could come over to the hospital. I’ll be there for a week. I’m not afraid of the surgery, but a little worried.

When I first found out, I felt betrayed. I used to trust my healthy body—then suddenly I found out that I have cancer. I was so disappointed and sad. Then I prayed. God’s kindness and mercy have always been with me, and He gave me signs that helped the illness be discovered early. I think I’ll be okay.

I was deeply touched that this dear woman would reach out to me in her time of need, but I wouldn’t return home for several weeks, so I sent a note to a coworker, asking her to visit this woman and pray for her. I also emailed the woman, explaining that I was away but had asked a friend, whom she’d also met, to get in touch. I also assured her that I would be praying for her.

When I returned home nearly a month later, I learned that my coworker had visited the woman in the hospital shortly after the operation. The woman had been through a near-death experience due to post-op complications. While hovering between life and death, she had had a distinct feeling that she wasn’t supposed to die yet, that God still had plans for her life. She had been revived and was thankful to be alive, but the whole experience had left her strangely troubled and depressed. This was the state my friend had found her in, but after they had talked for a while the woman’s spirits had lifted, and she had clung tightly to my friend’s hand when they prayed together for a speedy recovery and encouragement.

When I phoned the woman, she explained what a difference the visit had made—just the fact that my coworker had come meant so much. “It was as though an angel had visited me,” she said. Even though the battle for her health was not yet over, she thanked us both from the bottom of her heart for our prayers, and then asked us to visit her at her home.

Before this visit, I made her a card with some Scripture passages about Jesus, the Great Physician, who during His time on earth “went about doing good and healing all who were sick,” and who the Bible teaches is “the same yesterday, today, and forever.” As I contemplated what else to write, love-filled words flowed effortlessly from my pen. Jesus Himself wanted to express His love and concern for this dear woman, and the message He gave me for her ended with a short prayer she could pray.

As we talked at her house, I explained that while praying for her I had received a message of encouragement for her from Jesus, and that I hoped she wouldn’t be offended if I passed it on to her.

“Even though I am not a Christian, I really love Jesus,” she said. “When I feel worried or uneasy, I listen to a tape by a famous local singer who recorded two prayers, one for Easter and one for Christmas. When I listen to the Easter prayer, all about how Jesus was nailed to the cross, died, was buried, and rose to life again, peace fills my heart.”

When she opened the envelope containing my card and started reading the message from Jesus, tears welled up in her eyes. A little embarrassed, she asked if she could read the rest later that evening.

The next time I talked to her, she said she had reread the whole message and prayed the prayer. “It filled me with peace inside,” she said. “Now I have accepted what God has brought into my life, and now I know I will be okay.”

As we talked on, we both concluded that what really matters in life is that we believe in and love God, and that we receive His words. What a difference it would make in our troubled world, where barriers are going up faster than ever between peoples and religions, if we could reach out and build bridges instead, if we could focus on what is really important—love for God and the sharing of His love with others. God sent Jesus to this world as an example of His love for all mankind. God’s eternal, universal love hasn’t changed, and Jesus Christ, who healed hearts as well as bodies, is the same yesterday, today, and forever!

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Acts 10:38 (ESV) how God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and with power. He went about doing good and healing all who were oppressed by
the devil, for God was with him.

Hebrews 13:8 (ESV) Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

John 3:16 (ESV) “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

Onyedikachi Kingsley Ogbonna (Surv.)

Question: "Should the title of 'reverend' be given to a church leader

Question: "Should the title of 'reverend' be
given to a church leader?"

Answer: Psalm 111:9 (KJV) states, referring to
God, "Reverend is his name." Some interpret
this as saying the title "reverend" is to be used
of God alone and vehemently oppose any human
church leader being referred to as “reverend.”
The original Hebrew word, though, is not
referring to a title. It is declaring that God's
name is to be "revered, highly respected." The
NIV, NAS, NKJV, and ESV all render the Hebrew
word “holy and awesome” instead of the KJV’s
rendering of “reverend.”
Whatever the case, if you are uncomfortable
using the title "reverend" for a church leader, by
all means, use some other title. In most
churches/denominations, the title of “reverend”
is given to a person who has undergone formal
ministry training and has been examined by
those in church leadership. This is commonly
known as “ ordination .” A “reverend” is a person
who has been formally “ordained” into the
ministry. First Timothy 5:17 states, "The elders
who direct the affairs of the church well are
worthy of double honor, especially those whose
work is preaching and teaching." A godly man
who exemplifies 1 Timothy 3:1-13 and sets a
godly example in word and deed is worthy of
being "respected." Whether or not the title of
“reverend” should be used is a matter of
personal conviction and preference.

Question: "What is a bishop, biblically speaking

Question: "What is a bishop, biblically
speaking?"

Answer: In the New Testament, a bishop is a
person who functions as a teaching leader
among a local group of Christians. The Greek
term episkapos has also been translated as
“episcopal,” “elder,” “overseer,” or “pastor.” All
refer to the same office and are therefore
synonyms.
In the earliest churches, their leaders were
simply referred to as “elders.” For example, in
Acts 20:17 we read, “Now from Miletus he sent
to Ephesus and called the elders of the church
to come to him.” In Philippians 1:1 , Paul
introduces his letter “to all the saints in Christ
Jesus who are at Philippi, with the overseers
and deacons.” Apparently, there were originally
only two leadership positions in the church:
elders (or bishops) and deacons.
In the Pastoral Epistles, Paul speaks twice
regarding the qualifications of elders/bishops ,
those he considered the leaders of the local
church (also notice that these elders generally
served as teams rather than as single leaders).
In 1 Timothy 3:1–7 we read,
“The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to
the office of overseer [bishop], he desires a
noble task. Therefore an overseer must be
above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-
minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable,
able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but
gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.
He must manage his own household well, with
all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if
someone does not know how to manage his
own household, how will he care for God's
church? He must not be a recent convert, or he
may become puffed up with conceit and fall into
the condemnation of the devil. Moreover, he
must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he
may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the
devil.”
From this list, we conclude several things. First,
the job of bishop is a noble task. Second, the
job is a limited task (male pronouns and
references are used throughout). Third, integrity
is critical (above reproach, committed to his
spouse, clear-thinking, self-controlled, well-
respected, friendly, not influenced by alcoholic
drinks, not violent or argumentative, not greedy,
caring for his children, and having a good
reputation among the unchurched). Fourth, he
must have the ability to teach. (Deacons, whose
requirements are listed in the next verses, are
not required to have teaching ability.) Titus
1:5–7 shares a similar list for elders, but it adds
the ability to rebuke false teaching. When Peter
wrote to this group of church leaders, he called
himself a “fellow elder” ( 1 Peter 5:1 ).
The earliest writings of the church fathers also
seem to confirm this role of bishops as the
teaching leaders who served alongside deacons
to oversee the church. Both Clement of Rome
(c. 95) and the Didache referred to elders and
deacons from the late first century to the early
second century as the church’s leaders.
Over time, additional layers of leadership were
added to the church. Eventually, the term
bishop came to be applied to a regional church
leader who administered many churches. At the
Council of Nicea in AD 325, the church leader of
each city or area represented his region’s
churches. These leaders were referred to as
“bishops.” Many Christian traditions continue to
embrace this role of bishops today.
However, the biblical teaching is that elders and
deacons lead local churches. The elder was also
known as a bishop or pastor and functioned in
that role. This does not make additional church
leadership roles wrong (to meet important
needs for regional or national leadership among
groups of churches), but indicates that
Scripture points to elders and deacons as the
local church leaders.

Question: "What are the duties of an elder in the church?

Question: "What are the duties of an elder in
the church?"

Answer: The Bible spells out at least five duties
and obligations of an elder:
1) The elders help to settle disputes in the
church. “While Paul and Barnabas were at
Antioch of Syria, some men from Judea arrived
and began to teach the Christians 'unless you
keep the ancient Jewish custom of circumcision
taught by Moses, you cannot be saved.' Paul
and Barnabas, disagreeing with them, argued
forcefully and at length. Finally, Paul and
Barnabas were sent to Jerusalem, accompanied
by some local believers, to talk to the apostles
and elders about this question” ( Acts 15:1-2,
NLT ). The question was raised and forcefully
argued, then taken to the apostles and elders
for a decision. This passage teaches that elders
are decision makers.
2) They pray for the sick. "Is any sick among
you? Let him call for the elders of the church,
and let them pray over him, anointing him with
oil in the name of the Lord" ( James 5:14 ).
Since the elders have to meet specific
qualifications, their lives are godly and therefore
the sin in their lives is minimal and is confessed
regularly; therefore, they are used to pray for
the sick. One of the necessities in prayer is
praying for the Lord’s will to be done, and they
are expected to do this.
3) They are to watch out for the church in
humility. "I exhort the elders who are among
you, I being also an elder and a witness of the
sufferings of Christ, and also a partaker of the
glory that shall be revealed. Feed the flock of
God among you, taking the oversight, not by
compulsion, but willingly; nor for base gain, but
readily; nor as lording it over those allotted to
you by God, but becoming examples to the
flock. And when the Chief Shepherd shall
appear, you shall receive a never-fading crown
of glory” ( 1 Peter 5:1-4 ). Elders are the
designated leaders of the church, and the flock
is entrusted to them by God. They are not to
lead for the pay or the reward but because of
their desire to serve and shepherd the flock.
4) They are to watch out for the spiritual life of
the flock. "Yield to those leading you, and be
submissive, for they watch for your souls, as
those who must give account, that they may do
it with joy and not with grief; for that is
unprofitable for you" ( Hebrews 13:17 ). This
verse does not specifically say “elders,” but it is
talking about the church leaders. They are
accountable for the spiritual life of the church.
5) They are to spend their time in prayer and
teaching the word. "And the Twelve called near
the multitude of the disciples and said, ‘It is not
right that we should give up preaching the word
of God to serve tables. Therefore, brethren, pick
out from among you seven men of good repute,
full of the Spirit and of wisdom, whom we may
appoint to this duty. But we will devote
ourselves to prayer and to the ministry of the
word’” ( Acts 6:2-4 ). This is for the apostles, but
we can see from the passage above in #3 that
Peter equates himself as an apostle and an
elder. From this verse you can also see the
difference between the duties of elder and
deacon.
Simply put, the elders should be peacemakers,
prayer warriors, teachers, leaders by example,
and decision makers. They are the preaching
and teaching leaders of the church. It is a
position to be sought but not taken lightly—read
this warning: "Let not many of you become
teachers, my brethren, for you know that we
who teach shall be judged with greater
strictness" ( James 3:1 ). The role of elder is not
a position to be taken lightly.