The Real Need (Part One)

The Real Need (Part One)

A fool does not delight in understanding, but only in revealing his own mind.
Proverbs 18:2

As I settled into my seat on the small regional jet, I noticed that the man next to me was embroiled in an intense cell-phone conversation. Although he was doing his best to control his anger and keep his voice down, his conversation was unavoidable for me — and all the passengers within two rows of him.

He was talking to his former wife. Listening to him was like watching a sword fight where you can only see one of the competitors. With his blade, he verbally sliced and pierced the woman on the other end of the phone. The conversation ended with a verbal decapitation when he declared, "And you are no longer my wife!"

He demanded to talk with his daughter, and when she came on the phone, the sword fighter was instantly transformed into a puppy. He began by compassionately asking her questions, but at the end of the conversation he made one last thrust of the sword, saying her mom was a "wimp."

After he hung up the phone, this noble warrior informed me, "Any man can be a father," he said, "but being a parent takes a real commitment. Hard work." I wondered if he was using the same dictionary that I did.

He mentioned that he was living with a woman who was expecting his child. I asked if the baby's birth might lead them to get married, and his response was, "Why spoil a good thing with a piece of paper?"

As I sat there, God reminded me of something: What is this man's real need?

As a sinner myself, saved by grace, I recognized that this man's real need was to know God's love and forgiveness. The warrior had certainly made a mess of his life, but there was One who would forgive him and could help him clean it up.

Discuss

Who in your life needs to know Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior?

Pray

Ask God to help you remember that you, too, are a sinner saved by grace and to help you freely share the hope of the gospel.

The Confidence of Stewardship

The Confidence of Stewardship

In His Presence: Mark 11:22  

Being confident in stewardship is fundamentally an issue of faith. Faith relates to all of life. The definition of faith is “the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen” (Hebrews 11:1). Faith accepts that what God has said is as good as done. Faith lays claim on and stakes its existence on the person and purposes of God. Faith functions in the present, based on what God has said about the future.

In Matthew 13:58, we see “He did not do amny miracles there because of their unbelief.” And without faith, there is substance that God has for you in the invisible realm that you will never see in the visible realm. Faith is a way of living: “The righteous man shall live by faith” (Romans 1:17).

Faith is powerful. Jesus said that whoever had faith the size of a mustard seed could move a mountain into the sea. The power of faith is not based on you or how much faith you have, it is based simply upon who God is. Your faith is as big as the God you believe in. If we focus on Him as the object of our faith, our faith will grow. The power of faith is serious for a godly steward because he or she is confident in the power of God. Luke 16:11 tells us that if we are faithful in the use of money, God will entrust “true riches” to us, meaning spiritual riches that are worth far more than worldly goods.

One Minute Please

If God can’t trust you with earthly money, why should He trust you with kingdom riches?

Planting and Planning

Planting and Planning

In His Presence: Psalms 50:14-23  

To get out of debt God’s way, we must first learn how to plant. Any financial counselor will tell you to invest in that which gives you the greatest chance of a good return. And God will always give us the greatest return on anything in life. God is our greatest investor, and if He is not being honored by all He has given to us, everything else is out of line. God should be our first financial priority--His is the first bill we pay. Jesus said: “Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God’s” (Mark 12:17). We are to give God His due, and to give the governing authorities their due in the form of our taxes. We may believe that the current tax system is unrighteous or unfair, but God is greater than the IRS, and we answer to Him. God is our greatest resource, and we should plant our investments in Him.

The second thing we must do to get out of debt God’s way is to plan.Proverbs 27:23 says: “Know well the condition of your flocks, and pay attention to your herds.” Proverbs 28:20 says: “A faithful man will abound with blessings, but he who makes haste to be rich will not go unpunished.” We must stop guessing about the state of our finances and make a purposeful plan to use our resources wisely. A budget gives the guidelines for how each dollar will be allocated.

One Minute Please

“The plans of the diligent lead surely to advantage, but everyone who is hasty comes surely to poverty” (Proverbs 21:5).

NO LIMITS

NO LIMITS

I can’t remember ever seeing a flea circus—the classic sideshow event in which fleas are the performers—but I came across a fascinating article about how the fleas are trained.

Fleas can jump extraordinarily high, relative to their tiny size. Training fleas involves putting them into a small box or jar. Without a lid, the fleas could easily jump out, so the flea trainer puts a lid in place and waits.

Inside the container, the fleas jump up in order to escape. They hit the lid and fall back down. Again and again, the fleas will jump, hit the lid, and fall back. Then, after some time, the fleas don’t jump so high. They jump up almost as high as the lid, but not quite.

Eventually, the trainer will remove the lid. The fleas could easily escape now, but they don’t even try. They’ve become accustomed to only jumping to a certain height. They have more or less decided that’s their limit; they are going as high as they can go, and they don’t attempt anything further. Freedom is just a jump away, but it’s a jump they don’t make. “Stupid fleas,” we say. “So void of intelligence that they don’t realize the lid has been removed.”

But come to think of it, we too sometimes allow ourselves to be limited by barriers that exist only in our minds. We tried and failed at something, and our confidence was shaken. The next time around, when an opportunity arose to try something new or bigger, we didn’t rise to the challenge because we didn’t think we were capable of doing it.

Life is full of new beginnings and fresh possibilities. As we start a new year, the lesson of the fleas should not be lost on us. We don’t have to let the setbacks or mistakes of the past hold us down, like the nonexistent lid on the fleas’ jar. No imaginary limits for us! With God’s help, we can rise to new heights.

Don’t Quit!
Sometimes the challenge God sets before you may seem insurmountable, but there are no impossibilities to men and women of faith. So what are you waiting for? Start climbing! It may be a rugged climb, but the view from the summit is worth it—every rocky step of it! Look forward and up to the heights you’re soon to attain and views you’re soon to thrill to if you keep fighting, climbing, winning, and don’t quit.

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Philippians 4:4-7 ESV / Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 ESV / But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Romans 5:3-5 ESV / More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

Onyedikachi Kingsley Ogbonna (Surv.)

RAINY DAY REMEDY

RAINY DAY REMEDY

(A FRIEND STORY)

As far back as I can remember, I didn’t like cloudy days, especially in wintertime. They seemed endless and without hope, chilling both body and soul.

Still, they are a part of life, so I decided to learn to like them.

Over the past few years I’ve managed to enjoy them more. Now they don’t seem so dreary. My secret? Actually I have several.

Sometimes I take advantage of those days to bake a cake, cookies, or something else special to enjoy with coffee. The entire house smells of freshly brewed coffee and homemade goodies, and that creates a warm, satisfied feeling.

I’ve also learned that I can help brighten the day by what I wear, like a favorite brightly colored sweater or a little extra jewelry.

Most of all I’ve learned to thank God for those days. I’m still not crazy about them, but I’m healthy, in a house without leaks, and I have a nice warm bed, food on the table, and somebody to enjoy my blessings with.

Not too long ago, I was out on one of those days. Although it was overcast, I didn’t expect it to actually rain. Mid-morning, 25 blocks from home, I was caught in a downpour. I found some partial shelter and waited there for an hour for the rain to stop. When it didn’t, I decided to make my way home. Better to be home and wet than stuck there and wet, I reasoned. By the time I got home I was sure I had more water in my clothes and hair than was left in the clouds. One hot shower and lunch put it all behind me. I felt wonderful.

When I had been caught in the cold and rain, I had prayed for all the people who are the victims of disaster. Not disasters like burning the chicken or having their hair color turn out all wrong—I mean real disasters. Disasters like being left homeless by a tornado, with no hot shower, dry clothes, or warm meal to set things right. Or just as bad, people having everything they thought would make them happy, but still feeling empty, lonely, fragile.

When bad weather or some other circumstance has you down, praying for someone else who has it worse puts things in perspective and does the soul good, like a hot shower warms the body after getting caught in the rain. Praying for someone who is suffering, alone, or powerless to change some other unfortunate circumstance not only sends divine help their way, it also lifts the spirit, like the smell of freshly brewed coffee and homemade cookies.

There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.—W. Clement Stone

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Revelation 1:6 ESV / And made us a kingdom, priests to his God and Father, to him be glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.

1 Peter 1:3 ESV / Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,

Psalm 109:30 ESV / With my mouth I will give great thanks to the Lord; I will praise him in the midst of the throng.

Onyedikachi Kingsley Ogbonna (Surv.)

GENDER DIFFERENCES

GENDER DIFFERENCES

(A FRIEND STORY)

Question: My boyfriend and I normally get along great, but sometimes one of us becomes frustrated when the other one reacts differently than we expect or would like. How can we avoid those situations that put a strain on our relationship?

Answer: You’re not the first to encounter this problem. In My Fair Lady, the musical adaptation of George Bernard Shaw’s play Pygmalion, Professor Henry Higgins raises the question, “Why can’t a woman be more like a man?” That just about sums it up—from both sides. Men think women ought to respond to things like men, and women wish that men thought and responded the way women do. That’s not going to happen, of course, but God does have a solution, as always. The first thing to understand is that God made men and women the way they are, and for good reasons. A world where everyone thought and acted alike would be as boring and off balance as it would be doomed. Gender differences also help make us more well-rounded people. It’s usually easier to understand those of our own sex, but relating to the opposite sex causes us to stretch ourselves in the areas of humility, love, and patience, to name a few. If all of that is so, then neither gender is wrong for being the way they are. The next key is determining to bridge those differences rather than letting them derail your relationship. For example, it could hurt your feelings to realize that the love of your life still needs time with his or her other friends. Or it could frustrate you when the one you love experiences emotional ups and downs that you don’t. But once you understand these things, you’ll be better equipped to accommodate your partner and not become resentful. Here is a list of just a few common differences between the sexes. Though generalized and of course not universally applicable, they provide food for thought: Men are often more practical; women are often more emotional.

Men desire trust, respect, and acceptance; women desire words of love and endearment. Men like to get to the point; women like to discuss things from every angle. Men need more time to themselves; women need to express their feelings to others. Men like practical gifts they can use; women like sentimental and romantic gifts that make them feel special. Men tend to make decisions based on circumstances and practicalities; women are more likely to consider the emotional repercussions. Men are more solution-oriented when it comes to working out marital problems, whereas women want understanding and reassurance first. Not all men or women fit all these profiles, of course, because God made each of us a unique individual. So just because most men or women are a certain way doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with those who aren’t. Everyone is different! The idea here is not to put you or your loved one into a mold or to cause either of you to prejudge the other. It’s to give you an idea of where your partner may be coming from, so you’ll be more tolerant and understanding when differences arise. And remember: Love, humility, and prayer solve all problems.

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1 Corinthians 13:4-7 ESV / Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Galatians 5:19-21 ESV / Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Genesis 2:24 ESV / Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Onyedikachi Kingsley Ogbonna (Surv.)

SUCCESS IN MARRIAGE

SUCCESS IN MARRIAGE

Lasting, genuine love is based on a more enduring foundation than mere fleshly gratification. It must be an unselfish desire to protect and to help and to make someone else happy.

As my mother used to tell me, don’t marry the girl you can live with—marry the girl you can’t live without!

Marriage should be as equal as possible, as sharing as possible. You should talk together, pray together, love together, discuss together, and then decide and agree together.

One very important thing that is often overlooked in a marriage is for both partners to have faith in God and Jesus Christ. When you have faith, everything is possible, and you can do all things through Christ.

In marriage you die to self, but you find new life.

Don’t forget to thank her; don’t forget to thank him. Gratitude is a great thing in married life. Show appreciation!

Two of the greatest assets to a good marriage are honesty and a sense of humor.

“Whatsoever things are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things!” That applies to your spouse as well. Try to remind yourself constantly of his or her good qualities—the good things—and try not to think about the bad things.

Say “I love you” a hundred times a day!

Marriage is more than sex or friendship or a business partnership. It is the most intimate, humbling, loving, and self-sacrificial relationship between human beings in all of life. “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.” This is love, real love, true love—the willingness of a husband to sacrifice himself for his wife, the eagerness of a wife to lay down her life for her husband. This is supernatural love, divine love, God’s love, more than human.

Marriage is so difficult in today’s society. There are countless temptations—not just to cheat on your spouse, but to be selfish, to assert your independence, to insist on your so-called rights over another individual. All of these stem from people’s desires to promote themselves, and they run counter to God’s idea that self-sacrifice is the way to happiness.

Thinking of your spouse first is the secret to married happiness. You give up old habits, old preferences, and old ways in favor of the new, in favor of this wonderful person God has put in your life. In doing so out of love, you find great happiness because God blesses unselfishness; He blesses your sacrificially yielding to another person’s needs and wishes and seeking their well-being, even above your own.

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Matthew 17:20 (ESV) He said to them, “Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.”

Philippians 4:13 (ESV) I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Philippians 4:8 (ESV) Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Onyedikachi Kingsley Ogbonna (Surv.)